Now that Spock has left for the winderness, we can, of course, talk about him with complete impugnity. And I think we should. At least until he comes back.
Tell us what you think Spock is doing right now. Extra points will be given for complete lunacy and, of course, puns.
Right now, I think Spock has just arrived at the campsite and so, he is pitching a tent.
*whistles innocently*
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But whil is pitching his tent it starts to rain....so now he is wet...
(don't worry I can get crazier...this is just a warmup)
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I believe he is running from a bear because he forgot to NOT smear peanut butter on the sides of his tent.
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And the bear is chasing him wanting bread to smear the peanut butter on.
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Of course, he is travelling with a cadre of fellow furries, so it might take him a minute to realize the danger:
*Spock wanders up to peanut butter-smeared tent, munching on a bowl of Crispix*
Hey, Bob.
*bear rears up, roars and knocks the cereal bowl out of Spock's hands*
Dude. I was totally eating that!
*gets good look at bear*
Say, Bob. That is a great costume you have, this year. So much better than that moth-eaten thing you wore at the last party.
Ow.
Quit mauling me, Bob. That hurts.
Wait a minute. . . . O.O THAT'S NOT BOB!
*runs away*
(I am so dead when he gets home. . . .)
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He is standing waist-deep in water in the middle of a river trying to throw bread to the bear, but it's too soggy and disintegrates as he tosses it.
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He gets the idea that, just maybe, if he were to pretend to be a salmon swimming upstream, the bear would leave him alone.
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He starts flopping around like a swimming fish and the bear starts chasing him.
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The bear thinks Spock is a salmon.....
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Spock decides that being a salmon was a bad idea and takes off running through the water trying to escape
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but when he comes to a waterfall he falls 50ft
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And suddenly sprouts wings and flies back up the waterfall!
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he flies back to camp and starts to build a campfire to dry his clothes on
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but he runs out of wood
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So he starts pulling live branches down from trees (That's a big no-no!)
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this makes some squrrels very angry
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The good news: there was a huge feral honeybee nest on the tree limb he chose, and it was full of natural honey.
The bad news: there was a huge feral honeybee nest on the tree limb he chose, and it was full of bees!
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The Squirrels start throwing acorns at Spock.
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and they start to throw acorns at his head!
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Spock, Keith, the squirrels, and all of the furries are running around like maniacs, fleeing from the angry bees!
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Spock tries to fend them off
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Tries to bribe them with honey.. but then remembers the bears and decides against it.
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But the squirrels overcome Spock and gnaw his shirt into little pieces.
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and the bees descend....
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So now he stands in the middl eof hte forest shirtless and with wet pants.
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Egads!!!
*sends a Mach-10 carrier pigeon with industrial-strength insect repellant for everybody*
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*spock snatches insect repellant spray from the pigeon and burns his fingers, 'cause things get HOT at Mach 10*
*misjudges the location of the nozzle*
*sprays himself in the face with DEET*
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*runs blind to teh river to wash his face*
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Uh oh.
Spock forgot about the things that live in the river!
His new name of Shivers suddenly becomes all too appropriate.
*gasp*
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Suddenly Bessie, Nessie the Lock Ness monster's Canadian cousin, pops from under the water.....
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And belches to the tune of Greensleeves.
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To the absolute amazement of all of his furry friends, Shivers/Spock suddenly demonstartes a previously unsuspected ability to run across the surface film of river water!! O.O He streaks back into his cabin and frantically closes the door, where he recovers his scattered wits and begins the tedious task of drying his saturated fur.
The bees are left far behind and gradually lose interest in the chase, while the bear seizes his chance and stealthily creeps away with most of the honeycomb.
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Its not nice to make fun of people when they dont know. I'm sure Shivers wouldn't want anyone thinking he was stuck right in the middle of a big yiff...so i'm not going to say anything like that. ;-)
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So Spock thinks he is safe but then he relasies he will have to venture outside as that's where he left his luggage.
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So he creep out from his cabin making sure nothing is in site and makes a mad dash for his luggage
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but he is spotted by an owl who swwops down upon him
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and strikes unspeakable terror into his heart.
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What do you want from me? cries Spock.
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"Whooooo-eeeeee!" screeches the owl in response.
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Poor spock hasn;t had anything fnu happent o him yet.
so he runs away from the owl with his luggage and gets safely back into his cabin. He gets into his pyjamas and sleeping bag and goes to bed nicely hopeing to have ab etter 2nd day of camping
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Spock dreams of going to Dollywood. Which is strange, because he has never really thought of visiting there, before. But he has a good time in his dream Dollywood. He isn't chased by bears, or bees or faux-Loch Ness Monsters -- he just has to listen to lots of bluegrass music.
He wakes up, thinking for a moment, that he is still in the safe haven of Dollywood, but he quickly remembers his location -- and the horrors of the day before. He wonders if, perhaps, a bowl of Musilix would help to ease his unease and wanders over to the larder to see if anyone brought a box. . . .
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After breakfast, Spoc...erm Shivers has some quiet time and feels his ears burning. He has a strange thought that someone at Aven started a thread to make fun of him while he was gone. SO he starts thinking up 'big words and stuff' for when he gets back. ;-)
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After thinking of big words and stuff over his bowl of musilix, shivers ventures outside to see that all of teh previous days hazards are nowhere to be seen. He wanders through the camp making some new friends!
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*unbeknost to Shivers/Spock the bear and the owl are now working togther against him.*
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The bear struts up to Shivers all "tough-guy" like with the owl kicking it on his shoulder. Shivers tries to get around but the bear stands in his way.
Finally, Shivers smiles and blasts the bear and owl with his big words.
Full of pride and glory, Shivers continues through the woods making friends with other for defeating such bullies.
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They praise him for his knowledge of big words and soon someone challenges him to a match of... SCRABBLE!
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So, all the competitors go into a big ring with a table in the center. A crowd of forest animals gather round, all are eating popcorn.
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The bear and the owl have the first word.
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They spell queen so they get 14 points [I can't remember if that is true]. Now shivers takes his turn
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He can't believe his luck! He has all the letters for 'onomatopoeia' and slaps them down wtih authority. Unfortunatly this causes.....
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anger from teh bear and accusations of cheating! (which no one can understand cuz no one speaks bear)
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While the bear is roaring something about rotten cheating foxs, shivers draws his katana under the table........
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even though it is slightly difficult to sketch a good perspective view of the blade under the table, this gave him the best angle of his katana for his drawing classes. ... (yeah...I should drink coffee before attempting to communicate.)
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but the bear was not to appeased so easily and the owl ha\d thrown scrabble letters at shivers in defiance.
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the owner of the game is now also angry because now all his peices are lost. He sides with Shivers and now they start to argue with the bear and owl
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They decide to a square dancing face-off. All three put on their clogging shoes and.....
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They are quickly joined by all of Shiver's hooved friends who are extremely gifted when it comes to clogging ...
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but spock is less adept at clogging and can't help getting in the way of his hooved friends. poor spock's feet are the worse for the clogging venture, so he runs to find some ice and
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while he takes a moment to ice his sore feet, he has a feeling that he is a puppet on a string and something is manipulating the events of his life.
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The being that actually is manipulating his life at this point thinks "Damn! He's on to me!" and distracts him with some pretty butterflies.
(and thats when I came back to the site. So I wrecked their fun.)